Everyone wants a perfect ending. But over the years I've learned that some of the best poems don't rhyme and many great stories don't have a clear beginning, middle or end. Life is about not knowing, embracing change and taking a moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next.

tears after tears.
I wonder if I ever be able to stay strong.
you have eaten me out.
with your words
and your actions.

I'm no perfect. I make mistakes. and so do you.
I'm here to learn.
to be better.
and not sour.
I forget how to smile.
I live in fear.
and I'm not happy.

But Allah loves me dearly. He surrounds me with loved ones.
the ones I've always wanted to be with - much more.
the family, the cats and fishes, the friends and also kekaseh hati.

But all I'm asking dear Lord, make me stronger each passing days.
make me survive these 2 years, insyaAllah.
and most importantly, be with me, each steps I'm taking.

and I know You are with me, always.

The Land Down Under

Di sudut hati kecil ku

tipu kalau aku kata aku tidak rindu

pada tempat itu

yang banyak mengajar aku tentang bangun jatuh kehidupan

teringin sekali aku membawa kekasih hati

berbulan madu di situ

bercuti dan berlibur

dan jauh sekali dari kesibukkan kota Kuala Lumpur

ingin sekali aku 

membawa kekasih hati

ke tempat bermainku

ke tempat menimba ilmu ku

ke tempat di mana aku lari minta berlindung

dari kesakitan hati dan manusia manusia

yang pernah buat aku menangis pilu

jika ditakdirkan rezeki ku untuk ke tempat itu lagi

akan aku bawa kekasih hati bersama sama sekali

walaupun dalam sedang dibuai mimpi

entah mengapa, aku rindu sekali pada tempat itu tanggal hari ini.

Shah Alam, 4th Januari 2013

PS bawa aku lari dari sini, sebentar cuma, aku mohon sebentar sahaja...

Happy 2013

It's never too late to wish everyone of you A very Happy New Year! New Year is just like any other day, I woke up this morning with the usual feelings and the same expectation; I just want to be happy. But the New Year's spirit is there, the feeling of wanting to be better and to do good things and to try new adventures. Bidding 2012 wasn't easy. All i can say is that, it was a good ending and a good beginning :)

2012: When a boy meets a girl. We talked. and it was epic. but then the sun came up and reality set in. Well, this is reality, right here.

Ps Pray for us guys, TQ :)

y o u k n o w w h o y o u a r e :)

kenapa kita tidak bangga dan senyum melihat kebahagian kawan kawan
sambil berdoa agar diberikan kebahagian dan keindahan dalam kehidupan
bukannya cemburu yang tak berhabisan
atau minta dia ditimpa kecelakaan

cukup2lah dunia saling bergaduhan
mengapa antara kita tidak senyum dan berpelukan?

Selamat tahun baru 2013 ♥

common sense

"kaum wanita senang masuk neraka kerana mulutnya, kaum laki laki pula kerana matanya"

"Barang siapa yang tidak menyibukkan diri dalam kebaikan, nescaya ia akan di sibukkan dalam keburukkan"

Malaysia, Happy Labour's Day!

After a very long hiatus and a one or two hesitation on deciding whether or not to blog again, I've decided to write on something on this blog after visited it a few times in this year. Yes, I miss blogging :)

So why bother blogging on this 1st of May? Labour's Day?

No specific reason. I'm merely a Part 1 student, not working YET and not going to Uni as well today. Decided to only chill at home and get some work done.

So in celebrating the Labour's Day today, let's talk something on jobs or career.

I woke up this morning and checked my Facebook emails, and found something that you have probably heard it often in your daily lives but find it quite interesting for today's topic :)

"Do not take it as a work, take it as something you love doing it daily"

" I believe in luck, and the way I looked things up is that the more you do your work, the more luck you'll get"

It doesn't have to be too many, only these two catches my eye. and YES you can relate your work or job or career or something you do your entire lives as 'something you love doing it daily'. I reckon, it has got to do with at least you like doing it, at least. Then I secretly asked myself, "Do you love doing research?" and in a second I heard "Yes, I do".

"May you have all the luck in the world" Oh I would love to have that and I wish you can have it too. but nothing in this life is free not even luck, so I guess by working my ass off,  I could probably get some luck in my hand. then I asked myself again "Have you been working your ass off?" "No, but I will try harder".

So why bother working?

or

why bother fussing around about your job! Quit then!

Ask yourself again. why do we live in this world? mencari RedhaNya. mencari RedhaNya doesn't always related to performing Solat and fasting. Working also as part of Ibadah.

That is when choosing the right career for you is crucial.

So tell me, I'm curious; what is your ultimate dream job would be?

ps April was awesome. April has bid us farewell.

Make me Strong

I know I'm waiting

waiting for something

something to happen to me

but this waiting comes with

trials and challenges

nothing in life is free

I wish that somehow

You'd tell me out loud

that on that day I'll be okay

But we'll never know cause

That's not the way it works

Help me find my way

My Lord show me right from wrong

give me light make me strong

I know the road is long

make me strong

sometimes it just gets too much

I feel that I've lost touch

I know the road is long

make me strong

I know I'm waiting

Yearning for something

something known only to me

this waiting comes with

trials and challenges

life is one mystery

I wish that somehow

You'd tell me out loud

That on that day You'll forgive me

But we'll never know cause

That's not the way it works

I beg for your mercy

My Lord show me right from wrong

give me light make me strong

I know the road is long

make me strong

sometimes it just gets too much

I feel that I've lost touch

I know the road is long

make me strong

"I build walls to see who cares enough to break them down..."

"and I finally learned what life is about...hanging on when your hearts had enough and giving more when you want to give up"

PS You(whoever you are)...please...

Wanita itu Ibarat Epal

The fact that I love so much reading and writing about women, leads to this. but amazingly the more that I read about women, the more that I know even Wanita itu tinggi darjatnya, she still needs a man to protect her in any way and no matter how high her education is, she still needs a man to guide her, hopefully to Jannah, insyaAllah :)

...and in a way it makes me love myself even more :)
---
In fact, I reckon many of you have read this and fyi, I love to read this especially when I'm down and deep down I know, everything happens for a reason :)

wanita itu Ibarat Epal :)

Suatu saat di pagi yang cerah, angin bertiup tenang. sinar mentari lembut menerangi alam, tetapi sayang itu semua tidak dapat meredam kegundahan hati sebuah epal yang berada tinggi nun di puncak. Sejak seminggu lalu, epal itu sibuk berfikir, kenapa aku tidak dipetik orang? paahal...kulitku licin mulus, warnaku merah bersinar, siapa yang melihat, pasti meluap luap seleranya. pasti mereka terbayang betapa manisnya rasaku. 

Tetapi...kenapa aku tidak dipetik orang?

Epal tersebut memandang ke bawah. Hairan, kenapa manusia lebih memilih kawan kawannya yang berada di bawah sana? Bukankah mereka tidak mendapat udara yang bersih dan cahaya mentari seperti aku yang berada di puncak ini? Bukankah kawan kawan ku itu banyaknya yang telah rosak kerana serangga?

Epal tersebut binggung memikirkan kenapa rakan rakannya yang telah banyak tersentuh dan penuh debu menjadi pilihan, bukan dirinya yang belum tercemar dan dijamah orang, apakah kekurangan diriku?

perasaan rendah diri mulai merasuk. makim lama makin kuat, diselangi rasa kecewa dan bimbang. murungnya tidak dibendung lagi. lalu, pada pagi yang damai dan indah itu, epal tersebut memutuskan untuk menggugurkan dirinya ke tanah. Ketika sudah berada di bawah, hatinya gembira bukan kepalang. Seditik lagi, aku akan dipilih manusia. warna merahku dan kulit mulusku pasti akan mencairkan liur mereka.

Epal menanti manusia beruntung itu. sayang sekali, sehingga malam tiba, tiada seorang pun yang datang mengambilnya. Rasa gembira pun bertukar menjadi risau dan sedih.

Siang berganti malam, hari bergantti minggu, kasihan...akhirnya epal itu busuk di atas tanah menjadi makanan ulat dan serangga. membusuk dan dipijak pijak oleh manusia.

Wanita itu ibarat epal. buah yang tidak berkualiti amat mudah dipetik dan dijamah dan diambil orang. tetapi epal yang berkualiti tidak terjangkau dan sulit dijamah orang. susah dipetik, susah digapai. Mahkota seorang gadis adalah keimanan dan ketakwaannya. Apabila hilang iman dan takwanya, hancurlah pesonanya. wanita sanggup jatuhkan martabat tingginya supaya dijamah oleh orang lain.

Wahai Wanita yang solehah tinggi martabatnya...yang terpelihara kehormatan dan izzahnya.

Bersabarlah! di saat tak ada yang memetik kerana ketinggianmu. Janganlah kusutkan jiwamu hingga kau rela dipetik dan dijamah oleh sesiapapun. seperti epal yang mudah dipetik ditepi jalan. Tunggulah, Allah pasti akan mengirimkan seseorang yang bersedia memetikmu pada ketinggian. Ketinggian yang hanya boleh panjat dengan tangga keimanan dan ketakwaan seseorang.

Ya Allah... ku tahu betapa banyak "perhiasan dunia terindah ini" mulai gundah. Gelisah menantikan seseorang. Sepertiga abad penantian kadangkala tidak cukup mendatangkan si pemetik epal yang dinanti. Wahai Zat yang menguasai seluruh makhluk, jangan biarkan wanita wanita mulia ini lelah di ketinggian hingga dia menjatuhkan diri tersungkur dari kemuliaan. Teguhkan hati mereka dan selamatkanlah mereka.

---

For those, yang sudah dipetik, hargailah and those yang belum, mari berdoa, berdoa dan berdoa lagi :)

"Ya Allah, Ya Tuhan kami, sesungguhnya kami sangat memerlukan suatu kebaikan yang Engkau turunkan kepada kami, Ya Tuhan kami, anugerahkanlah wanita wanita solehah jodoh dan keturunan sebagai penyenang hati"

PS You(whoever you are) awak...awak...awak...

Wanita itu Ibarat Epal