Once a month, and each time, it rains..

Frankly speaking, I've been crying cats and dogs these past 2 days, only God knows why. and I know I've hurt people along the way, to those I've hurt you, I'm deeply sorry, did not mean to and I believe God has another plan for me, better I hope, Redha.

I love watching Bread, dreams and Love because even though the world seemed to be the cruelest place ever but Kim Takgu managed to smile. and he smiles beautifully. He said that even if you're happy or you're sad, just live. he has a point there. This is only a Korean Drama Series but I was really inspired. I wondered if there's a guy like Kim Takgu in this world, ever? ;P

I really wanted to be happy for the past 2 days. I really do. I've tried remembered what makes me happy in this life. Seeing others happy, make me happy, but it doesn't work this time because I was really hurt by the fact that they are really happy and I'm not and I got jealous. So I figured, what else can make me happy? I know forgive and forget will make me extremely a sane people. This will take time. I will try every night to forgive each people that have done wrong to me and hoping everyone will forgive me as well.

Then I remembered old promises, old debt, overdue works etc that I haven't repay them and everyone. Things that I need to do in this life, priority, that I take things for granted.

Today I am happy. Today we (Me, S, N and Z) went to Alamanda to try out the triple cheese burger at McD and ate some Baskin Robbins(BR) Ice Cream. I've promised S that I will buy him one on Wednesday(Pink day, 2 scopes for 1 price) for helping me out finding cerek for my mom. It just felt good looking at S, N and Z eating ice cream. It felt really good.

I never had a brother. and I always wanted a brother. not that I hate my sisters but I always wanted to know how is it like to have brothers. Bigger brother to protect me from getting hurt especially from the boys and at the same time brings back his guy friends at home for homework or watching football. and I always wanted to know how it is like to have a younger brother that I will not stop nagging about how not to break a girl's heart for sure.

I was really touched when S's special someone said thanks to me for nagging S to pray each time. Just like a sister S never had. If you guys are reading this, I just wish for happiness to both of you.

Yesterday I put a sign "I need a friend to talk" at YM and couple of friends did pm me and asked me why. to those people, I thank you. because yesterday when I cried and I needed to talk to someone and I have no one to turn to. but I know the world will seemed to be the cruelest place to live in but out of it there are portion of people, not many, that loves me dearly and people that I will not hurt for sure.

To someone I think I've made you worry for no reason and putting up a frown face each time I see you, I am sorry. if it's written this way then let it be. This one's for you.