Saturday, May 28, 2011


"Do not fall in love with me..."
...'cause I might cause you pain

Because A woman's heart should be lost in God, that a man must seek Him in order to find her, insyaAllah :)

Ya Allah, berikanlah kebahagiaan kepada orang-orang yang pernah memberi bahagia kepadaku..

P/s: Wahai Hati, apalah engkau merepek ini!?

Friday, May 27, 2011

We only part to meet again

"Setiap pertemuan pasti temui perpisahan"
but this time it was unforgettable.
Kalau ada jodoh, insyaAllah ketemu lagi.
Ameen. ameen. ameen.

TH & Trvl 14052011-24052011 :)

In the hope to meet shortly again, and make our absence sweet. Rindunya, mahu pergi lagi, insyaAllah :)

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The years teach what the days don't know



laknatullah alaihim ajmain. laknatullah alaihim ajmain. laknatullah alaihim ajmain.


Dear friends and foes and everyone who knows me and who doesn't,

been living in this world for 26 years old and been doing sins to God, you and everyone who knows me and who doesn't directly and indirectly.

I'm begging you, please find in the smallest place in your heart to forgive me.

Who knows, we might not see each other ever again and I'm afraid I might not be able to say "I'm sorry" to you ever again.

Please forgive me, from the bottom of my heart.

dear loved ones and friends,

thank you for the kind words, thank you for the care, thank you for everything. Only Allah could re-pay you guys.

I love you guys, from the bottom of my heart.

Ya Allah, tabahkanlah hati ini dan bangkitkanlah diri ini dari kejatuhan. Lindungilah kami dari kejahatan dan mala petaka.

Orang Islam kene Kuat!


Thursday, May 12, 2011

Tetamu Allah

"This is not what I had planned, this is so much more.."


Sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Mengetahui. Syukur yang tidak terhingga for given me this opportunity Ya Allah.


No words, for the first time. Of course I'm super duper Happy and a bit scared. but I know, everything will be alright.

Will be leaving this Saturday, 14th of May 2011, InsyaAllah with the whole family.

Ustaz kata "Pertama kali ini hukumnya Wajib". Yes, this is my first time. Jaga hati, jaga niat, jaga semuanya, pray for me. selamat pergi dan selamat pulang, insyaAllah. Minta ampun, minta maaf, halalkan semua semua. Ustaz juga kata, "Berdoalah kepadaNya dengan apa macam bentuk bahasa, Allah itu Maha Mendengar". Berdoalah, berdoalah, berdoalah, tanpa rasa jemu dan putus asa...

PS kalau ada yang hendak kirim salam kepada Kekasih Allah, kirim doa atau lain lain, PM me, insyaAllah I will try my best.

"...Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase..."

TQ Ya Allah.
Semoga peroleh HidayahNya.
ameen :)

Open our eyes, hearts and minds :)
The TRUTH will always prevails, it will never fail. 

Monday, May 9, 2011

Of cats

Oh! this entry has been in the draft for ages, because I'm afraid I might talk forever when it comes to cats, but today I have to write something..

You know that you have to jaga 3 things;

Jaga hubungan dengan Allah;

Jaga hubungan dengan manusia;

dan jaga hubungan dengan makhluk lain.
Whoever knows me, will know that I love cats oh so very much. and anyone who has been to my house will know that I used to have 20 cats at one time. No kidding..

I don't know how it got started but Mummy never let us keep any of the cats. but I remembered coming home from school one day, at that time I was in form 3, when a small kitten followed me. I told the small kitten not to follow me because I know Mummy won't let me keep him but he followed me like we were destined. and the rest would be history.

From what I know, cats can be a good accompany. They never let me down. they know when I'm sad. they played with me. and when studying they'll sit on top of the book as if they know I don't like to study. kidding.

I can write you guys a book regarding to cats but I have a few named cats like Mimie, Coboy, Shumumu that were dearly close to me.

Agirl is the oldest cat in the house at the moment. she out-live her own generation. since she's very old and not really good with other cats, we let her sleep inside the house. and normally during Hari Raya she is the first to welcome you.

Recently this year, on the 17th of February (yes, my birthday), I received the most joyful birthday present; 3 little kittens. Nope, not from any of my friends nor neighbor, but Mak Hitam were pregnant that time and decided to give birth on the exact same day as my birthday. I was really happy back then. We named them; Hachi, Lassy and Snowy.

I favoured Hachi the most becasue Snowy is garang, and Lassy just plain sweet. Hachi likes to follow me around and never afraid of the people and the cars. but I never really get to know Hachi that much...

He died today. He was sick and we don't know why. Hachi, sorry for not paying enough attention, I love you so much and I think you know that. Thank you for being born on the same birthday as me and made me the happiest person that day, thank you for coming into my life, TQ sebab pernah membahagiakan dan menceriakan hidup ini. RIP.

In loving memory; 17022011-09052011.


PS If you have a loving heart, please watch Hachi: A dog story and Marley and Me.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

"Solat diawal waktu, berbuat baik kepada kedua Ibu Bapa, Berjihad"

"Amatlah rugi apabila kedua ibu bapa anda masih hidup dan anda tidak berbakti kepada mereka"
I heard these during a ceramah on television. and I always being scolded by my two sisters saying "It is stated in the Quran and you still have the urge to deny it?"


I know mati hidup semula pon I cannot repay both jasa my parents. but Even now, my entire life, I don't think I've done enough.


Daddy and Mommy, You're old now. You're slow in things you do, daily, you get tired easily. and still I can pretend that you're strong and abandoned all the things I should have helped you. Not listening to you.

Mommy, you always get compliments saying you looked younger than your age. but I hate seeing you standing in the public transports because of that.

Mommy, thank you for the care you've given me for the past 26 years old. It's time for me to take care of you. As long as I live, as long as I'm your daughter, I'll take care of you, insyaAllah.

Mommy, if you could read this, I made especially for you. I love you to death.

Today’s Mother’s Day! And my mom’s taking a nap in the middle of afternoon. Me and my sisters decided to surprise her. I looked towards my sisters and clamped my hand over my mouth “shhhh, mommy’s finally sound asleep. The journey to surprise her begins and suddenly the living room seemed had grown a mile long. Fortunately mom hadn’t stirred a bit. I bent over and looked carefully. I could see that she’s aging. Her grey-soft hair and wrinkles around her eyes even when she’s asleep. I wanted to cry as I never seen my mother this close. Without hesitation, I kissed her forehead and whispered “Happy Mother’s Day! I love you Mommy!

Your beloved daughter,
8th of May 2011
This is actually for a Mother's Day contest I wanted to enter. Wish us luck. 

Happy Mother's Day! I love you everyday.
and Happy Mother's day to all mothers in the world, mom-to-be..
May God bless you.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

One of a Kind

You will be misunderstood, criticized, maligned, undermined, marginalized, ridiculed, and you will eat lunch alone.
Still, you must never be afraid to be wonderful.

You'll find that it's easier to not stick your neck out,
easier to nod your head,
easier to hold your tongue,
and keep the peace...

It's easier to be the wallpaper in the war room,
to be non-confrontational shade of grey,
to merge and flow with the traffic of other people's thoughts.

It's easier to be the charming chap with agreeable smile,
whom everybody likes,
but whose name they never quite remember,
"What a nice guy, what a nice girl..."
as they toss your card in the bin.

It's easier to be content,
to be satisfied with just turning up and taking part,
to pop champagne for bronze,
and throw parties for silver.

It's easier to settle,
but please, don't...

I like this poem very much.
Belle, akak pinjam :P

Let's start over.
I'm type A(jenis darah) and I'm left-handed.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Kuat VS Lemah

"Orang yang (kuat) itu adalah orang yang boleh menahan amarahnya..."

image source: google

Hari ini jadi orang yang lemah, and It is not a nice feeling. padan muka sendiri...
Sesungguhnya ujian kecil ini amat tidak larat untuk ditanggung. Sabar, bersabarlah wahai hati~
Hai, macam mana nak hadapi ujian yang besar-besar ni..

Kalau benar ujian ujian ini untuk mengajar diri lebih tabah, redha~ InsyaAllah ada hikmahNya.

Orang yang bijak mesti IQ dan EQ stabil.
mari semua jadi orang yang bijak. :)

I put my trust in You, Dear Allah, for You, Who knows the best.
please guide me and lead me to be a better me in the future, insyaAllah
For I who needs You the most, Dear Allah.

"Wahai Tuhan kami, tidaklah Engkau jadikan semua ini sia-sia..."

Budi Bahasa Budaya Kita

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Let the pictures do the talking..

It's good once in awhile or perhaps everyday to be waked up and be reminded where we are coming from, what are we here for and everyone will be faced death dan pulang kepada Maha Pencipta.

let's take a minute to have a glimpse on the things we did daily, have we helped our mother and father? have we forgiven everyone? and have we loved one another?

let's also take a look of our surroundings and be grateful of what we have, Alhamdulillah~ blessed. 

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part.

Been wanting to read this book for so long and forgotten about it until I blog walking and saw a review on the book. Remind me if I ever hit the bookstore, please make me buy this book.

Image source: google

Then It was made into a movie in 2010. 

image source: google

Can't wait to read it and to watch it. Woot woot. 

"I fold the letter and think of a million and one things that I could have done different"

"Never let me go"

fyi, nothing to do with what I'm feeling right now :P

Enjoy and good night. Sweet dreams :)

Enough is enough!

If I could turn back time, I swear to God, I wouldn't want to be friends with you guys at all.

My entire life, I've never encounter such people like you guys.

I know I'm no God, and who am I to punish people but Dear Lord, all I ask, is that You show them the same courtesy that they have bestowed upon me. Ameen.

It hurts, it really does. Thank you.

PS 'You guys" mentioned here are a bunch of sick people who likes to say bad things about others, always complaining and enjoying every second seeing others unhappy. please do not get me wrong. 

Taknak gaduh, tak suka gaduh, macam budak kecil tp kalau boleh putar masa dan untuk the near future, tak mahu jumpa orang orang macam 'you guys' lagi, ameen. 

Some things are better left unsaid.

I am absolutely cannot sleep. thehe.
You know when people said bad things about you, because probably they don't get you, and you, in your smallest heart wanted to say some things to clear things out and to explain things making sure that everyone won't be misunderstood anymore, and then you come to a state where, you are tired of explaining things, and let things left unsaid, for better, even you know deep down you can make things clear and make everyone satisfied but not you?

I watched something on television the other day. there are this couple, who once happy together decided to be separated from each other not because they don't love one another, they just I reckon, lack of communication. they then decided to see therapist, for help.

therapist: what's the problem?

husband: we don't have any problems.*making faces*

wife:  he doesn't understand me.

husband: *making faces again*

therapist: why do you say that? why do you think that he doesn't get you?

wife: I've been so strong, in fact, stronger than before, not like any other person, but when I looked back, that is why he married me at the first place, he liked me because I was a strong person. but in fact, I am like any other person, any other girls, I cried, I need a shoulder to cry on, I want protection from him, I need someone who supports me and understands me.

therapist: what did you do, when you most need him?

wife: I just keep it to myself, hoping he'd understand when I'm quiet.

That's where it happens, most people don't communicate well, mostly with people they loved. and I know, being a woman, it happens all the time.

I remembered reading something on the net, called "carry me in your arms" and hope you'll enjoy it. it is understandable that most communication in this world comes from body language, up to 90%. but it is not wrong to say it once in awhile. but most probably some things in life, are better left unsaid.
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up!

Cherish people around you, mostly your parents and family. cherish the ones you loved and the ones that loved you. 

Have a nice day! 

for everyone's sake

..and for mine too. I'm doing everyone's a favor. and I hope it's a right thing to do.

Lord, give me strength. ameen.

from the bottom of my heart, I hope you'd understand. I think this is for the best.

You know where to find me aites? :P


Monday, May 2, 2011



I know how much you treasure friendship, and how important your friends are to you and if you'd favor your friends over me, then it's okay. just please my dear friend, let our friendship remains eternity.

"If loving you meaning to let you go, and should you return, it is meant to be and shall you not return, it was never was, never is"

"I'm sure going to miss you"

"We started out as strangers, we met, we fell in love, and finally we ended up as strangers again"

Sunday, May 1, 2011

With Love

From Paris, with love :)

If you love me, really love me?


PS tak boleh tidur, esok dah nak balik Malaysia, doakan semuanya baik baik, insyaAllah :)